Holding Both is a newsletter that’s all about getting honest about grief, joy, and everything in between to live a more full life. More often than not, life calls us to “hold both” grief and joy, beauty and terror, heartbreak and love. The wedding that your father didn’t make it to. The job loss that occurs on your child’s birthday. The grief of aging parents and the joy of a new birth. So the question becomes, “How do we hold both well?” What does it look like to lean into both grief and joy in a way that leads to healing, to wholeness, to growth?
This newsletter is inspired by my mother, Lisa, and the manner in which she lived, and ultimately, died. My mom first got sick at 37. By 41, she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. By 49 she was dead from breast cancer. Even though my mother spent much of her adult life sick and in pain, she was most known in our family and her communities for her joy–her smile, her enthusiasm, her desire to do for others. In the face of grave illness, she simply wanted to enjoy this world for as long as she was in it.
I now, at 41, find myself sick with a chronic illness. There is something about waking up in pain each and every day that has revealed the importance of joy. And I don’t mean the glossy IG-ready, TikTok monologue-worthy joy that’s promised if only we compartmentalize our problems and focus on the positive. Joy, in this season, looks different for me . I am redefining who I am in light of illness and what I need to manage it. I am recognizing that this experience, horrible as it is, is just life.
In Holding Both we discuss grief, joy, and everything in between. I will share what I’m learning and how I’m living somewhat joyfully with pain. I will not suggest any of us turn our lemons into lemonade, but I will instead push us all to be honest about what ails us and proactive in our efforts to live the best life possible no matter the circumstances. And because we often need a helping hand while holding both the wild and wondrous moments in our lives, I hope that these dispatches grow into a community where I learn just as much from you as what I can offer.
When we lean into all of life’s aspects, we honor the fullness of the human experience and live better by Holding Both.
What will you find here:
Essays on how I am Holding Both these days
A monthly feature on a person in my community who I admire for the way they hold both in their work and life
A monthly curation of the practices, prompts, and, yes, purchases that are helping me hold both
Bio
I am an author, advocate, entrepreneur, and public speaker committed to helping individuals and organizations thrive during periods of uncertainty and lean into joy. I am the CEO of Beacon Advisors, a social impact consultancy and my book, award-winning bestseller Grief is Love: Living with Loss, was recently optioned by Al Roker Entertainment for a docuseries.
My work has been featured in Elle, Vogue, The Atlantic, Glamour Magazine, on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, ABC’s Good Morning America, CBS Morning Show and on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast.
I started my career on Wall Street, then worked for former President Barack Obama in the White House, and served as the Managing Director of the My Brother’s Keeper Alliance, which is now a project at the Obama Foundation.
When I’m not working, resting, or going to the doctor’s office, you will find me cooking, eating, rooting for the Green Bay Packers, or spending time with my family: my husband, Matt, our son, Bennett, and the world’s greatest dog, Sadie.
What readers say:
“Grief is Love is the closest many of us will get to understanding eternal love for another”–Elaine Welteroth, New York Times bestselling author of More Than Enough
“Marisa really normalizes grief for the world. She doesn’t present it prescriptively or make any promises. She just paints it as a beautiful picture”–Glennon Doyle
“Authentic, all-inclusive, and utterly breathtaking, Grief is Love is the book that will help you deal with your darkest days and walks with you as you venture back into the light.”―Willie Geist, cohost of The Today Show and New York Times bestselling author of Good Talk, Dad
"In Grief Is Love, Marisa Renee Lee has transformed her own profound losses into a powerful meditation on what grief is at its core: an extension of love. She invites us to reframe grief as an everlasting tribute, not as a burden, and her insights about healing will be a gift to countless readers." ―Maggie Smith, national bestselling author of Keep Moving and New York Times bestselling author of You Can Make This Place Beautiful
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